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Being in the Hot Seat Means Sitting on a Guest Toilet

August 6, 2019

At the B&B

You come back from a walk discovering all our bronze statues and feel the urge to empty the bowels on returning to your Bienvenue Mon Ami Bed and Breakfast and Art Gallery room.  

When entering your private enclosed toilet area you notice a warm blue light glowing in the bowl. On sitting on the throne with an unusual design that is labeled "Brondell"; you feel a soothingly comfortable warm sensation that all our guests rave about. You also notice a push button mechanism on the wall next to you that resembles a TV remote.

On pushing the "Seat Temp" button you note the associated light goes from pink to red and you feel the seat getting warmer.  

On pushing the button that looks like a fan and is labeled "Dry", your eyes show an expression of surprise as you feel warm air lightly blowing on you bottom. You press the "+" button and the air also gets warmer.

Your curiosity then tempts you to push the "Rear" button that has a blue water spray and you hear a faint humming and dripping sound. A few seconds later you are standing up because you are shocked by warm water squirting towards your rear side. As soon as you stand the water automatically stops.

After returning to the plastic throne atop the porcelain bowl, you think that the warm water could have a cleansing effect. You try it again. However, this time when you press the water spray, you think it not quite warm enough. Pressing the "Water Temp" button cycles a light from Blue, Pink and Red. You note the water temp cycles with the button push to cool, warm, warmer, respectively. You wonder if the warm water will ever run out and become just cold.  It never does.   

You next question why there are two water spray buttons, so you push the other one labeled "Front" and the water stream moves to clean the area further toward the front of the seat.

The next enlightenment comes from pushing the "Move" up/down arrows as the water spray start to continuously moving back and forth. As you experiment more you note that the movement can happen in both the more towards the front AND the more towards the rear positions.  

You also find the water spray is in too pointed a spray feeling and too strong a stream. Pressing the "-" button lowered the water pressure and the "Spray Width" buttons got the desired effect.

You then realize a need for fine tuning adjustment on the spray location that will make that final spot clean. Tapping the triangle buttons moves the spray slightly to get the desired targeting.

While pushing the remote button you note that pressing any button that conflicts with another action then the new action starts and the conflicting one stops. For example, air drying starting will stop any water spray. Also, the stop red button turns any active action off. restarting any action retains the last temperature and spray option settings you last programmed.

Now your backside is all wet. Hence, it is time again for the warm air fan button again.

On leaving the throne after your business is completed and you are flushing the bowl, you touch each of the Sanitize and the Deodorize buttons. The final astonishment.  The water and air blowers are cleaning themselves for the next throne seating.

You have just experienced the effects of a continuously warmed, multi-position, totally adjustable bidet; a temperature controlled toilet seat; and a varied temperature heated air blower.